We've Become Obsessed With Age 18
A few days ago someone asked me what I do. You would think after all this time I'd have a simple answer ready to go, but I don't. He asked for the Reader's Digest version, and, as usual, the conversation immediately went off the rails. To be fair this is someone that I know and we had a hour and half car ride. We started talking about retirement planning, which somehow led to his grandkids, which led to Florida Prepaid plans, money market accounts, taxes, ownership, and eventually the question of who controls the money when the kids get older. On other words, a completely normal conversation with me.
At first there was nothing unusual about it. His grandkids already have plans in place. Florida Prepaid, money market accounts. Money being set aside for their future. Honestly, that's more planning than a lot of families ever do. But as we kept talking, my brain started doing what it always does. Instead of focusing on what had already been done, I started wondering about all the things that might not happen. What if they don't go to college? What if they get a scholarship? What if they choose a completely different path than everyone expected? What happens to the money then? Does it stay useful? Does it stay flexible? Does it still solve the problem it was originally intended to solve?
Somewhere in the middle of that conversation we got into ownership and control. He mentioned that one of the things he doesn't love about the money market account is that eventually it becomes the child's money to control. That got me laughing because if we're being honest, most of us weren't exactly making brilliant long-term financial decisions at 18 years old. I know I wasn't. At 18 I wasn't thinking about retirement, tax strategy, or financial independence. I was trying to figure out how to survive adulthood without making too many stupid decisions along the way.
That's when the conversation started sticking with me.
Not because there was anything wrong with Florida Prepaid. Not because there was anything wrong with money market accounts. What stuck with me was how quickly every conversation about children seems to find its way back to college. It doesn't matter where the conversation starts. Eventually it ends up in the same place. How are we going to pay for college? Should we start a 529? Should we buy Florida Prepaid? How much is tuition going to cost eighteen years from now? It's almost as if we've collectively decided that the most important financial event in a child's life happens between the ages of 18 and 22.
Why are we so obsessed with age 18?
Maybe it's because college is expensive. Maybe it's because that's what we've always been told to do. Maybe it's because that's the conversation everyone else is having. But the question that kept bouncing around in my head was much simpler than that.
What if there's only $100 - $200 a month available?
Because that's the reality for a lot of families.
Most people aren't sitting around trying to decide what to do with an extra $2,000 every month. Most people are trying to make the smartest possible decision with a much smaller amount. If there's only enough money to go in one direction, then suddenly the conversation changes. You're no longer asking how to fund everything. You're asking which problem matters most.
That's the question I couldn't shake.
If there's only enough money to solve one problem for a child, why are we automatically assuming that problem is college?
Nobody knows what a three-year old is going to become. They might go to college. They might get a scholarship. They might start a business. They might join the military. They might become an electrician, nurse, teacher, entrepreneur. They might end up doing a job that doesn't even exist yet. WE DON'T KNOW.
What I do know is that most people don't get financially punched in the face at 18.
That usually happens later, when the stakes are a whole lot higher.
It happens when retirement suddenly isn't as far away as it use to be. It happens when a medical issue appears out of nowhere. It happens when life gets expensive. It happens when people realize they spent decades solving short-term problems without thinking about the long-term ones.
The conversation ended, but I couldn't let it go. Four days later I was still thinking about it, which is usually a sign that my brain has found something it wants to dig into. So I did what I always do when that happens. I started running numbers.
I wasn't trying to prove a point. I wasn't trying to win an argument. I was simply curious what another path might look like if the goal wasn't paying for four years of college, but creating financial flexibility over an entire lifetime.
The first thing that hit me was how small the number actually was. We're not talking about a wealthy family putting away thousands of dollars every month. We're talking about roughly $217 a month. That's about seven dollars a day. Less than a streaming service. Not stopping for that coffee every morning. A handful of impulse purchases on Amazon. It's not nothing, but it's also not the kind of number most people picture when they think about building wealth.
Here's the second thing that hit me.
We spend so much energy talking about what happens when a child turns 18 that we sometimes forget how powerful it is to start what they're 3. The illustration wasn't exciting because it was life insurance. It was exciting because of the amount of time the money had to work.
The funding stopped at age 40.
Let me repeat that.
STOPPED FUNDING AT AGE 40.
Nobody was still contributing at 50. Nobody was still contributing at 60. Total contributions over the life of the policy came in at $96,200.
The projected value at age 63 was just shy of $2 Million.
But the part that really got me was this...most people never hear this conversation.
Everybody hears about 529 plans. Everybody hears Florida Prepaid (at leas here in FL). Most people know about savings accounts. But there are entire financial strategies that never make it into the discussion for many families. Not because they're bad. Not because they don't work. Not because people looked at them and rejected them. They simply never make it into the conversation.
Most people are introduced to whatever solutions happen to be sitting in front of them. The banker talks about banking products. The investment advisor talks about investments. The captive insurance agent talks about the products their company offers. That's not a criticism. It's just reality.
The more I though about it, the more I realized this wasn't really a conversation about Florida Prepaid plans, money market accounts, or even life insurance. It was a conversation about assumptions. Specifically, the assumption that age 18 is automatically the most important destination for every dollar we set aside for a child.
Maybe it is.
Maybe it isn't.
But if a family only has $100 or $200 a month available, I think they deserve to know every option before deciding where the money goes. Because when money is unlimited, almost every strategy looks good. When money is limited, priorities matter.
And the more I think about it, the more convinced I become that we've spent a lot of time planning for four years while barely talking about the sixty that come after them.
If you're currently saving for a child, grandchild, niece, or nephew, here's my challenge: Stop asking only how to pay for college and start asking what happens after college.
If you'd like to see what different strategies look like using your budget, your goals, and your priorities, let's have a conversation. you might discover there are possibilities you never knew existed.
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